It was the thirty seventh day of my journey, my travels had
led me to high sea around the Bermuda
triangle in the Caribbean. In the
distance I could see what looked to be a raft bearing a white distress
flag. I decided to sail in closer for a
better look. As I neared I could see
that on this raft was the most beautiful caramel skinned woman I had ever
seen! I called to her to see if she
needed help. “YES!”, she replied! I let her on board immediately. She then pleaded to me to help her! She said
she didn’t have much to offer me, but she did have “Deez nuts”. “Excuse me?!” I replied. “Deez Nuts!” she said, as she reached into
her Gucci purse and pulled out a handful of the most beautiful golden brown
roasted nuts. She then began to explain
to me that they were the very own family recipe of Captain Deez, a well known
and respected pirate in the Caribbean region.
She said the nuts where roasted with the flavors of the finest pirate
rum that can only be found in a secluded part of the Caribbean controlled by
the infamous Captain Deez. She didn’t
have to say it, but I could tell by the brand on her wrist that she was the
head wench of Captain Deez, and was more than likely trying to flee from him
and get to freedom. I immediately knew I
was in grave danger.
It wasn’t two seconds from the time I put up
the main sail to high tail it to safety that a cannon ball came crashing through
my hull. I turned to my six o’clock and
saw the mighty Grandus Shcrotus, a giant greek vessel that had been seized by
Captain Deez and made his own. I
immediately knew what I had to do! I
looked at the beauty of the woman that I had rescued and knew that he was
coming after his beloved treasure which I would never give up! Canon balls started raining down all around
my meek little vessel. So I did the only
logical thing that could be done. I
threw her overboard to make my boat lighter and faster to sail away to freedom
with Deez beloved nuts!
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